2008-12-21 - 5:33 p.m.
Moving to Shizuoka: Strange Reaction
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During the past few weeks I've developed a sudden, unwarranted fear of death.
It took me a while to put together the connection. At first I thought that I was becoming neurotic, which actually made me kind of happy because if I was a neurotic I would worry less about being boring (and I do worry that I've become boring). For the record, I don't believe in gods or fates. But I do believe that if there was such a thing, that they would all have quite terrible senses of humor. And so it is that I began, daily, imagining various unlikely scenarios of my death now that there is, finally, a limit on the time that remains to me in Hachinohe.
I'm worried that I'm going to die here in the meantime.
I worry that dump trucks will run me over while I'm walking down the street. I worry that our microwave will explode and coat me in poisonous chemicals. I worry that trains will botch their schedules and crash, headfirst, into one another with me onboard. I worry that an earthquake will reduce our apartment to rubble while I sleep. I worry that my blow dryer will hit me with a massive electric shock. I worry that food not prepared by myself is laden with poisons. I worry about gas leaks, animal attacks, all manner of natural disasters, and so on...
I have to say that, as I'd expected, being neurotic is actually quite entertaining. Still, I'm grateful to not be this way permanently.
