2008-12-03 - 9:46 p.m.
Moving to Shizuoka: The Reaction from Team Numasawa Headquarters (Shuhei's family home)
************
They were surprised, said Shuhei.
Good surprised or bad surprised?
Surprised surprised.
"Surprised surprised", I suspect, means bad surprised, but such a reaction is hardly surprising. Our move is, effectively, the nail in the coffin of Numasawa Dobuku, the little concrete and masonry business that Shuhei's grandpa started I-don't-know-how-many years ago.
Probably this is one reason Japanese families should disprove when their spawn decide that they want to marry a foreigner. That is, it took me slightly more than two years to break up their family business. And - yes, I know how bad this sounds - I'm not sorry. My feeling about the end of Numasawa Dobuku is that somebody had to do it.
Ten years ago, I'm told, business was good. But every year since then has been less and less profitable with the result that Shuhei has, for tax purposes, been my dependant since I started working again. It probably goes without saying that I'm not too happy about that, but let's be clear about why. Shuhei and I have no mortgage and no babies and I like shopping in thrift stores and doing things that make me feel like I'm competent in the domestic arts. We can live pretty cheaply if we have to. Money isn't the problem. The problem is that I don't like thinking about my falcon as undependable and underemployed. It makes me feel like a bitch to grudge-hold things like that. Also, on the days when the weather outside is frightful and the fire (in our kerosene heater) is so delightful and I have to go to work while Shuhei relaxes at home, it takes more effort than I would prefer to expend to prevent myself from becoming cranky.
In conclusion, somebody had to kill Numasawa Dobuku, and none of the Numsawas seemed willing to go through with it. Shuhei's dad did, however, say that was going to retire this year. And even though we're pretty sure that he didn't mean it (he said the same thing last year too), we've decided to pretend that he did. That helps me to not feel bad about being the one to bring about Numasawa Dobuku's demise.
A few hours after telling me that his family was "surprised surprised" Shuhei asked me what I thought about sending some money to Headquarters every month after we move. I like that Shuhei is nice (and handsome) and that he wants to do nice things like help out his family, but I don't like this plan. Probably this is another reason Japanese families should disprove when their spawn decide that they want to marry a foreigner. That is, they will try to hoard money to themself rather than helping to support the rest of the family.
Honestly though, as I imagine it, Headquarters is going to be just fine on its own. Shuhei's grandpa and grandma have pensions and his dad, too, can start collecting his anytime. Shuhei's brother will find a new job and will almost certainly make more money there than he did with Numasawa Dobuku. That's four incomes. And that's probably enough. But, even if it isn't, my selfish Western perspective and I think that Shuhei's sister, or the aunt who moved into Shuhei's room after he moved out, should get part-time jobs.
We're hoping to find a house to rent in Shizuoka. Pardon the broad generalization but, because Japanese people don't like old things, old-ish houses often cost less to rent than new-ish apartments. (The drawback of this plan is that "slightly creepy" is, I think, the best that I can hope for in adjectives to describe the bathroom of our future home.) We've given charming names like Unchi House and Niwa House to the places currently on our shortlist. That is, Poo House (aptly named after its color) and Garden House. (This name was given facetiously. The garden is, in fact, a patch of dirt in a concrete block about two square meters in area. And this space is all that separates the house from a kind of busy-seeming road.)
And so, I wonder, why should I have to live in an Unchi House while Shuhei's sister, who is my age, remains unemployed? In theory, rather than sending money to Headquarters, we could use it to live in a place with a bathroom that isn't creepy at all.
For now, Shuhei and I have agreed to give Headquarters nothing, but to assess the situation again once we're set up in Shizuoka and he's found a new job.
And, having said all this, I wonder how surprised Headquarters would be if they knew that this is how I really felt. We will, however, never know, as my plan is drink tea and seem happy about broadening career opportunities (or whatever) until we leave.
