2008-07-11 - 12:19 p.m.
In my dream, Jeremy hasn't just not invited me to his party, he's specifically forbidden me to be there. And, at first, I can't understand why. I consider the option of feeling sorry for myself and my unexpected unpopularity, but decide that that's not my style. There must be a reason behind this. I investigate and soon discover that Jeremy is operating in cahoots with my mom, who needs me to look after my grandma during this time.
I resent the fact that trickery has taken place, but I love my grandma and don't mind in the least giving up a party for her. But there's just one thing that I don't understand. My grandma lives in a retirement home and I can't imagine a scenario in which she would need looking after during standard partying hours.
In the days and hours leading up to when the party will take place it is revealed that the guise of looking after my grandma is, in fact, a frame tale of trickery. A trick within a trick. What my mom really has in store for me is a tonsillectomy, which she somehow stands to financially benefit from (though I can't understand how, especially considering that my tonsils were removed when I was twelve).
I was willing to miss Jeremy's party to look after my grandma, but not for an unnecessary elective surgery. Thus, I escape.
I had left without a plan, but soon found myself at the Armstrong Disneyland. It had things that a Disneyland should have (like plywood cut-outs of Disney characters with elliptical face holes), things that Armstrong should have (like the pervasive smell of manure and a table set up to accommodate a homemade jam contest), and also things that I did not, and could not, expect (like double-designated smoking areas exclusively for senior citizens, cancer patients, singles, and lovers of cheese).
I'm wondering how much free jam I'll be able to taste when I realize that I'm being pursued. My mom is coming after me. I steal a dog sled and a lively team of huskies and I soon give my mom the slip.
I go to Jeremy's party (even if my mom catches up to me, it's too late to make the appointment for my surgery now) which turns out to consist mainly of putting things on a moving conveyor belt and trying to shoot them off with a slingshot, which was both more enjoyable and more difficult than it had seemed at first.
In the end, though I was disappointed with my dream self for suggesting that Jeremy would conspire against me with my mom, I was impressed by the story which resulted from this improbable situation. In conclusion, congratulations Jeremy for quitting your well-paying government job! It will probably be years and years before you're making as much money again, but I'm of the opinion that things out-of-common with my mom are sure to be excellent life choices. (For those of you not in the know, my mom has had the same well-paying government job for twenty-eight years which, among other bad decisions, has thoroughly demented her.)
