2008-04-26 - 10:25 p.m.
It Begins!
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Thanks to global warming (whether as a result of nasty emissions, or as part of a natural cyclical process I don't care to debate) Canada is, I'm told, now able to start tapping previously inaccessible oil reserves in the Canadian Arctic.
Hurray!
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And since my jamboree of cats is, it seems, rapidly devolving into a regrettable stew of topics that we're all plenty tired of hearing about, I suppose that I may as well seize this opportunity to give everyone an update on my hairdo before I intend to launch into a new and exciting series of stories, of which I hope the ratio of fiction to non-fiction will be impossible to tease out, The-Package-Arrived-in-the-Mail-Series.
But first, hair!
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My hair has become so good that it's actually kind of bad. I take pride in the fact that all I'm doing to this hair in the morning (or mid-afternoon, whatever the case may be) is using a little mousse and blowing drying until it's at least half dry which is, I think, low maintenance (or at least low maintenance within the esthetic we all know I'm going for). But Shuhei and I are the only ones who know that that's all that is happening between me and my hair, and this is what I mean when I say that my hair has become so good that it's actually bad.
Because seriously dudes, my hair looks fucking awesome.
Let's now track my six year history of self haircuts, shall we? (Please stop reading now if hair isn't interesting to you.)
Years one and two: At this point I was only really trying to make it a little pouffier and I was still scared of messing it up. As a result, nothing particularly interesting happened to my hair during this time, but I did learn a lot about how to do highlights.
Years three and four: The goal for these years was to create hair that would look good when I was dancing with Lucie. Dancing with Lucie involved a lot of hair-flipping. It was during this stage that I discovered the magic of cutting my hair with a razor that I'd torn the little plastic guard things off of. I recall this stage as one of good hair.
Years five and six: My goal shifted to trying to create hair that Japanese girls might be jealous of. In other words, cuntier hair. In other words, I probably shouldn't be as proud of this hair as I am. (But I am... I am and no one can stop me.) The strategy that has evolved is as follows (seriously, stop reading if you're not interested in hair):
-Bottom third layer of hair gets cut, more or less, straight across. For some reason the bottom third layer of my hair is particularly vulnerable to damage, so I try to help it stay reasonably shiny and healthy by not doing anything to antagonize it.
-Middle third layer of hair gets cut kind of into the shape of a W. There's bits and pieces of all different lengths, but it's basically a W. I think this might be the reason my pretty hair isn't doing weird things around my shoulders. It also helps the end bits to curl around a little in a way that I assume Japanese girls to be jealous of.
-Top third layer is basically a U. Again, there's bits that are all different lengths. And again this shape seems to prevent my hairdo from doing weird things around my shoulders and makes the end bits curl around a little.
Then, of course, there's the bangs. (Let's never forget the bangs.) And the highlights. (Let's never forget them either.) At this stage I think my hair is maybe 50cm long. (I'm so in love with my hair that I'm surprised to realize now that I haven't actually measured it. It's down to my armpits - but that sounds kind of gross. It's down to the top of my bra - but then bras are gross too. Whatever, it's probably 50cm.)
Fifty centimeters and growing!
