2007-11-15 - 3:59 p.m.
I would like to take a moment to mention how proud** I am that Canada was, according to the bilingual news (which, still not being a part of Facebook, and receiving fewer and fewer emails from the outside world, is basically the only means through which I inform myself of the goings-on in the rest of the world), the very first nation to announce that they would not be meeting their obligations to the Kyoto Protocol.
Way to go Canada!
Because, seriously, why would Canada hamper its own economy in the interest of combatting global warming? As I - someone with no formal training in and very little understanding of environmental geography - see it, too much of Canada is too cold for too much of the year to be of any use. And Canada could probably benefit from being one or two degrees warmer.
Dear Canada,
Don't let anybody tell you that what you did was wrong.
Dear Rest of the World,
If things get really bad, Canada (and maybe Russia) will probably let the richest of you buy your way into the country, so relax.
Dear Polar Bears,
I've seen video footage of your hunting methods. Staked out beside the only breathing hole for miles around, waiting for those succulent seals to run out of air and come up for a breath. For some reason, that really bothered me, and if your time really is indeed at hand, you're not going to be getting much sympathy from me.
Dear Hurricanes and Typhoons,
As I - someone with no training in and very little understanding of environmental geography - see it, there's no way that you guys can make it as far North as the coastlines of Canada. But please feel free to go ahead and try.
Dear Japan,
Remember when Canada announced that they'd decided to flaunt the Kyoto Protocol, and you got all uppitty, only to realize a month later that you'd probably have no choice but to do the same? Ah, memories...
Dear Environment,
See, this is what happens when you give off the impression that you're constantly in a state of crisis. Eventually, everybody else just stops caring. It's not because we want to be heartless jerks, but you've got to understand that sympathy has its limits.
I mean, acid rain, ozone depletion, desertification, salinization, eutrophication, and blah, blah, blah. There's always something with you, isn't there?
Maybe you should just take a little time to yourself for a while and, I don't know, work on your algae blooms, or something.
************
** Here, my liberal education and I would like to clarify that the individual is far more precious to us than the state, and that when we say that we're proud of Canada, what we mean is much closer amused. Nationalist sentiment is so totally 1939. And my liberal education and I would like to stress that we don't dig that scene.
