2007-02-16 - 1:47 p.m.
The Three Worst Things My Mom Has Done To Me
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No. 3 - Giving me Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul for Christmas when I was friggin' 18 (and already publicly committed to literary snobbery) then telling me what an ungrateful brat I was for not pretending to like it, as if I wasn't socialized enough to know that when someone gives you ugly shoes (or some such thing) it's best to accept them graciously. But Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul? Are you fucking with me? I don't think it's unreasonable to compare this to a punch in my non-existant balls. (And socialization does not obligate anybody to give thanks for a punch in the balls.) This scenario is pretty much emblematic of the problems my mom and I have with each other.
No. 2 - Kicking me out the second time. The first time I understood. She wanted me to get my life together, and, in her mind, was helping to motivate me towards that. However, it should come as no surprise that an angry teenage girl trying to get her life together without further comprimising her damaged dignity, and with no support network whatsoever, will almost certainly fail. The second time my mom kicked me out I'd been squatting in her basement because I had NO WHERE else to go. The second time wasn't cool.
No. 1 - Making me mad enough to compose this bullshit list while listening to Hole ONE MONTH before my 25th birthday. Seriously mom, hating you is so 1999. This is embarassing. And gay.
