2006-09-17 - 5:27 p.m.
Falcon vs. Bandicoot*
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Those of you who have met my mom, or are familiar with her only through my jamboree of cats, must be now, I`m sure, wondering how Shuhei and my visit with her went.
And the answer is, good enough.
Shuhei and I are still very much in love, and my mom and I only had to yell at each other in front of him once, and that had nothing at all to do with Shuhei (or, indeed, even myself). So, yes, the verdict is that our visit was a success.
And when I say that Shuhei and I are still very much in love, what I actually mean is holy-shit-I-love-him-so-much-it-sends-shivers-to-my-toes. He travelled halfway around the world to come get me! He patiently answered all of my mom`s questions. Even the ones that were stupid and had nothing to do with anything. Even the ones that were, frankly, none of her business. And he did it all with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.
And when my mom and I did - as was, sadly, inevitable - yell at each other, he quietly slipped his hand under the table and onto my leg (which I understood to mean that he was on my side) and gave me a look to say yes-I`m-on-your-side-but-please-just-stop.
So I did.
And that was for the best anyways because it`s very, very difficult to win an argument with a bandicoot. Their world-view is too limited and they`re extremely difficult to reason with.
And everyone else was easy and fun and wonderful.
Especially my aunt and uncle, which is no surprise because I have thee best aunt and uncle that anyone could ever ask for.
And my Grandma told Shuhei that he has nice teeth. Then we talked about beer and sandwiches that we like, and the places my Grandma has been to and the places Shuhei and I might like to go.
I love my Grandma.
And Victoria was good too.
We ran into my drug dealer on the way to Victoria from the Vancouver airport and drank his beer and smoked his pot on the ferry. (In my opinion, an ideal introduction to Canada for any foreigner to experience.) Back at ASCO, Michael attempted to explain his disease to Shuhei, in Japanese, which was pretty awesome. Then Dave and Aleah came home to take Michael with them for dinner (and leave the apartment to just Shuhei and I) and that was pretty awesome too.
And we rode bikes all over Victoria. And, in Vernon, my mom let me borrow her car, which was a very nice thing for the bandicoot to do. So we drove around to places in Vernon I find to be beautiful, but not exclusively...
For our last night in Vernon, we packed up some booze and walked from my mom`s house to Kin Beach. That is, past the sewage treatment plant, three or four trailer parks, the Longhorn Pub and Drive Thru liquor store, and countless lots and fields devoted to little more than collecting garbage and growing tumbleweeds...
And now we`re back in Hachinohe.
And soon, very soon, the apartment we found will be ready for us to move into. (It needs to be re-wallpapered first.) And, until then, I`m staying with Shuhei in his family home, which feels a lot like the premise for the sort of sitcom that would only last one season.
And so, loyal readers, please stay tuned for my next installment, Six Numasawas and a Lofting, and, in the meantime, rest assured that Falcon vs. Bandicoot was a success.
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*I often like to imagine my angry mom as a bandicoot. Asides from being entertaining in itself, I find this to be most efficatious in keeping myself calm while dealing with her.
