2006-07-10 - 7:40 p.m.
Sandwich Fetish?
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Today I went to work and was told that I could have a delicious sandwich everyday, which marks the end of a campaign I've been on for some time.
For you see, my bakery job, she really doesn't pay so well. Dave recently got a job serving meals in a retirement home for $14 an hour! He said that he could get me a job there too. Probably I should've done that, but a baker waiting for their lover's return strikes me as more romantic than a retirement home employee doing the same (recall that literature has retarded me), so I kept my bakery job and pledged to get as much free stuff as possible from it.
My campaign kicked off with the initiation of Sandwich Sundays, a tasty free-for-all, and an enormous success.
Then I added to Sandwich Sundays the telling of sandwich stories. It turned out that I have a lot of those. Like the time Jeremy and I crashed a UVic convocation for the sandwiches and juice. Or when my sister had her molars taken out and asked the dentist, after the drugs had thoroughly kicked in, what sort of sandwiches he liked. (I told that story in the first person because that's what a good storyteller does.) I expressed the depths of my appreciation for grilled cheese sandwich makers. (Mine was called a Snack Factory.) I told the sad story of the worst food poisoning I ever had. Thanks Subway! I even sang the parts that I could remember of Ellen and Lucie's Sandwiches, set to the tune of Bandages by Hot Hot Heat.
And now that my campaign has come to a successful end, and with the taste of today's real turkey sandwich (with cranberry sauce and havarti cheese) still on the tip of my tongue, I have to wonder if it was really all just to get free stuff.
Maybe I really do have some sort of sandwich obsession. I mean, how many sandwich stories does a normal person have? The weirdest part of all is that I hated sandwiches when I was a kid. Hated them. I brought soup in a thermos to school with me instead. What kind of soup, you ask? Fuck, any kind. Just as long as it wasn't sandwiches.
